As an only child, being alone was not unfamiliar; however, being a lover of people, my life as a young wife on a game reserve was lonely. My interaction with people was limited.

Even though my new home was both peaceful and wild, my love and need for social interaction with people did not subside. I obtained a position at one of the hotels in the area as a receptionist. I began to see LIFE from many different perspectives – I was 23 at the time.

Counsellor – Born or Learnt?

Are people born with a set of counselling skills, personality and leanings or can anyone with these attributes become a counsellor or psychologist and fit into the many careers of helping people?  I believe the answer is ‘both and’.  On reflection, during high school, I was one of the go-to girls for listening to boyfriend problems and, I believe, I also supported the underdog and yet I was shy and withdrawn.  Listening put me under a lot of pressure.  I felt ill-equipped as a high school student without a boyfriend, brothers or sisters to give wise counsel to anyone.

All phases of life are valuable learning experiences.

What I could do was LISTEN with INTEREST, REFLECT and ASK QUESTIONS. I did this naturally. Over the years, I have learned never to underestimate the value of every job you do, every role you fulfil and every person you meet.  Add to these, skills learned along the way.  There will come a day when you look back and reflect on the milestones and the crossroads and realise they were all pointing to something or someone so intrinsically you, designed for you and planned by God.

Noted as having the ideal profile of a PA, I slipped into this role for 27 years after secretarial college.  In the workplace, my desk was always surrounded by people connecting with me to talk. Is this a sign of a budding counsellor?  It may be, however, I was reprimanded and told these gatherings were quite inappropriate and “should stop”. I had not yet learned to be assertive, or how to say ‘No’, or draw boundaries.

Confidentiality, Respect & Trust

However, counselling opportunities were not out of reach.  I counselled or taught people using Biblical principles, intuition and prayer within my church. Here I gained immense insight into a myriad of people issues.   I understood the importance of confidentiality, I learned respect for all people is non-negotiable and that gaining a person’s trust opens hearts.

Growth milestones

I jumped off the corporate ladder in my late 40s and joined a friend in a training consultancy where I learned to facilitate training programmes and run workshops mostly focussing on frontline, business writing and people skills.  Here I began to see my shortfalls clearly.  I was in a new growth season and, when someone asked me to join them on a 1-year Christian and Community Counsellor qualification presented by UNISA, I did.  My journey had just become more definitive.

Never too old

Suddenly, when I was 54 years of age, a new door opened – to enrol on a BA Hons degree in group dynamics.  This was followed by years of facilitating exciting, people-centred programmes or workshops.  Sometimes,   I had the privilege of coaching (for example) a tea lady who had been promoted to receptionist.  The fears, insecurities and” I can’t do this” were all there. Travelling the country (now as a widow), I was stretched and stressed, but at least kept busy.  My career as a fulltime counsellor was emerging.

God given purpose

Administration was a large part of every position or work I did.  As a counsellor, you still need to have a system for making appointments and ensuring they are kept and followed up, if necessary. Listening, taking of notes and recording information during the sessions, filing, and communicating clearly before and after the appointment are important.  Referral is also part of a counsellor’s role, especially when the client presents something that is outside his or her scope of practice.

I arrived at my God-given and God-directed destiny at 70 years of age – initially, via the route of an accredited Specialist Wellness Counsellor and finally a Specialist Counsellor with my own practice.

I am now doing who I am and loving it.