When we talk about “expectations”, it can be quite overwhelming, simply because this is a huge part of our culture; it’s embedded in every facet of our lives. Expectations follow us from gold stars in pre-school to the “gold watch” at the retirement speech as we exit the workplace; or taken to life’s finality – the eulogy at a memorial service.
Sadly, in the 21st Century, expectations are also closely linked to the word “entitlement”. Or, perhaps, even the ground bed for motivation and ultimately performance? This is neither good nor bad.
Simply put, the definition of “Expectations” is positive. After all – doesn’t this form the framework for goals and objectives in the workplace and life? Isn’t this what challenges personal growth, excellence and fulfilment? A motivational speaker commented that “no one rises to low expectations”.
All this is true, so when do expectations “flip” and become a driven performance trap or entitlement – “I mean … “I expect someone to meet my expectations, isn’t it the expected practice around here?”
The “Flip”
When expectations are fuelled from the outside, when motivating factors are applied externally such as ….
Meeting the Expectations of
- Others – parents, friends, teachers, bosses …
- Society – friends, groups, institutes, sports clubs …
- Organisations – schools, colleges, universities, employers
- Churches – leadership, members
And the above is just a small sample of the areas in which “meeting expectations”, (which are not even yours!) takes a driver’s seat in your life.
A Simple Answer
Is there a simple answer? As we wade through the mire of muddied environment, parenting, educational systems, opportunities, culture, politics coupled with the broken, unfulfilled people driving these …..it’s no wonder we are imprisoned in ‘expectation performance’.
To digress for a moment – did you know that two of the main causes of anger are
- unmet expectations, and
- being forced to meet the expectations of others (which may be a choice or a presumption!)
Back to the Flip
The list below is my personal conviction and is never an inexhaustible one…
So then … when are expectations positive and meaningful?
When
- they are intentionally focussed on a life goal beyond today
- the goal is not an end in itself, but a journey of purpose and service
- others are involved in or invited in to encourage and motivate you
- it’s not all about you, or just about you, and how your material needs will be met
- it does not have an end-point to promote self, seek status, recognition and fame alone
- your expectations are from the inside-out with hope, excitement and passion
- the outcome of your expectations is committed to, reached for and desired from the heart
- you know yourself and what makes you tick – and what makes you smile
- someone else “sees” you and “believes” in you; and YOU BELIEVE in you too!
Lastly…
- All the other benefits may well be added to you if your starting place is a heart of humility, an attitude of openness and expectations that move you from the inside.
With love and an intention for you to be empowered from the inside out and not drained and stressed from keeping everyone else happy. You will achieve this anyway…….
Notes:
Expectation/s
- Hope
- Anticipation
- Expectancy
- Prospect
- Suspense – Bated breath – he waited with bated breath for his exam results……..
- Anticipation of something happening (a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen)
- Notion of something (a mental image of something expected, often compared to its reality). All our expectations of a quiet evening at home were dashed by the arrival of guests.
- Expected standard (a standard of conduct or performance expected by or of somebody)
Entitlement
- Right
- Power
- Prerogative
- Title
- Privilege
- Claim