Words matter…
Do you know someone with a birthday today? Even if you are someone who doesn’t do birthdays, there was a day when every soul arrived on earth. This day was as unique as a new sky in the morning and worth celebrating. Life is precious, fragile and valuable. How sad it is that people abuse one another, take one another for granted and render another’s life insignificant. From where does this right come and how do we measure the value of one life above another?
One of Mother Theresa’s well known sayings, which has always fascinated me is “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world than for bread”. A statement like that from someone who fed the starving children of India can certainly make one sit up straight and take notice.
I ask myself, am I giving that morsel of food or bread and feeling I have done my bit for society, but failing to tap the hearts of wounded, hurting and dying people? It is about the poor, the widows and the orphans and the needy but it is more than that also. I have learnt that everyone has a story and, as I knock on the doors of those people who cross my path, I am astounded by what is inside.
Revealing what was buried
A man in my group was in his mid-forties, a big, strong South African holding the position of maintenance manager in a large company. He had an engineering background and appeared really good at his work. As we progressed through our leadership development programme, he seemed a little uneasy. Suddenly, on the second morning, he asked if he could share something. He told me that he was not the clever brother in the family; he was not the achiever or the good son – his brother was. His brother became a chartered accountant, reached the top of his career and then embezzled some money.
Rejection and Judgement
After doing time in prison, it appeared that the brother could not adjust to life and was very unhappy. He committed suicide. With tears in his eyes, the “not so clever brother” looked at me and said: “you know what really hurt me? You know what I have buried so deep and have never spoken about until this day? It was what my mother said to me when my brother died. She looked at me and said: “I would have expected this of you, but certainly not of your brother”. He told me that the pain, the loss, the rejection and the judgement were all too much and he dealt with it the way most men do. He buried his wounded heart, worked harder and set out to prove his mother wrong.
As I listened to this man’s story, I wept for all the children that have been scarred by words hastily, angrily and bitterly spoken; words spoken from an adult’s own pain, inadequacy or insecurity. I checked my own tongue, my own heart and thought about things I may have said. I asked God to remind me to always build people up, encourage them and appreciate the gifts they are to me and to others. I asked God’s forgiveness.
Therefore encourage and build each other up…
Birthdays give us an opportunity to reflect on people’s lives and characters and pour some sweet fragrant oil onto their hands and feet in appreciation. Not because it’s the “done” thing on a birthday, but because you sincerely believe that every person has value and potential, and you can be part of releasing the reality of this to the receiver.
Jill 11/2023